Dearest Listeners, After much thought and trepidation, I’ve decided to take a long break from FatC. Because FatC fans rock in so many ways, I can’t leave without explaining my departure. First, I believe I’ve been creatively “spent� for months. As painful and shameful as it is for me to admit, I’m uninspired. When I entered this sordid world, I had so much to say. Times change. I’ve lost my voice. Every podcaster enacts a persona. I fear the personality I created has taken on a life of its own. It’s stupid. I find myself saying things people expect me to say. I’m a slave to the formula, and, frankly, I don’t want to be that guy. I owe so much to this medium. I’ve made some terrific friends. Madge, Wanda, Mike, John, the folks at Rainbow Pod Squad, Puffy, Steve, Omar, Brad, Chemda, Patrice, and the boys at the PNS Explosion, among countless others, have taught me so much about art, activism, and hell, life. I came into this world with so many “PC� reservations of which I’ve let go. Such a life lesson! Moreover, I depart because I am, first and foremost, a poet who needs to complete his second book. It’s strange: I started to podcast because I thought, “This will be a great way to promote HETEROPHOBIA.� I had no idea that my involvement in this world would result in an assortment of new friends, a dissertation, thousands of hours of performance, and a new life outlook. I applaud everyone who has taken the time to listen to FatC, agree with my words, and dissent with my madness. I think everyone involved in the queer podcasting project feels connected to something bigger and more profound than words. Love or hate, agree or disagree, we belong to a community that cares: We care about world events; we care about what other people say; we care about this technology and mode of communication. It would be insincere of me to depart without talking about the most profound moment I experienced as a member of this community. When Juan died, I knew I had to be at Richard’s side. For the record, Richard and Brad are two of the most professional and kind people I’ve had the privilege to work alongside. Rachel and I appreciate the gift you provided in ways that we’ll never be able to fully express. Juan’s death proved to me that podcasting is more than free entertainment, self-involvement, ego-mania, etc. Podcasters and their supporters forge intimate, real, and profound connections. That said, I’ll continue to participate in ETHS but I’ll strive to participate in a manner that better articulates who I am outside of the podcasting world. Being a mean, crass relentless bottom (v. 2.0) is harder than you’d think. As I previously indicated, I’m tired of the persona taking control; I’m tired of talking shit to and about people I respect and admire. After I’ve worked on poetry and rediscovered what I want to say (sans self-imposed expectation), I’ll come back to FatC. Best, Ragan

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